By Richard K Munro

I see an old photograph of a Scottish Highland soldier of the Great War and I cannot but thing of my grandfather and his many lost comrades. They were brave and loyal and good and he survived and they did not. Auld Pop as we called him suffered a great loneliness. In the distance of time I see that now. He filled that loneliness with incessant smoking and drinking. As a veteran and as an immigrant he suffered constant distress or discomfort from his smashed social connections. He was reasonably happy with his family and grandchildren but he suffered great sorrow when he remembered his loyal and true wife (who predeceased him) and his comrades in arms. I think today we would say he suffered from posttraumatic stress syndrome.

I often think of Yesterday’s Seven Thousand Years as I know the past is no more but we still have now and the future, however uncertain is still to come. Yet there is always memory. To think is to remember our lives and experiences and our friendships. And the sweetest friendships are the warm friendships of people you could rely on through thick and thin. When I was a small boy I had a deep and loving friendship with my grandfather who taught me the alphabet and how to read. From him I learned Scottish dialect and heard many stories of war and adventure and baseball heroes (he loved Zach Wheat, Pete Reiser, Duke Snider, Jackie Robinson and the Brooklyn Dodgers). He taught me how to keep score and told me stories of Babe Ruth the 1927 Yankees (Murder’s Row) whom he had seen in person. Baseball was one of his constant companions. He went to many games. He listened to games on the radio. He kept score. He read the statistics and box scores in the newspapers.

My Scottish grandfather had only a few life long friends. In early life in Scotland he had many close friends. Sadly most were killed 1914-1919. When he remembered old comrades he would speak of their virtues and the highest virtue was to be a ‘leal n’ true mon” (a mensch; a loyal and true man).

So there is no question fidelity and loyalty were things he valued. People who make you laugh and who are kind are people that get into your heart and you never forget them. So fidelity is very praiseworthy if one is faithful within reason to someone or something that is good and honorable. My grandfather and father can no longer help me in any way but I feel a responsibility to remember them out of gratitude for the time and love they invested in me.

One hopes for fidelity in friendship and if one finds friendship and fidelity as well as love in marriage then one is blessed. I can honestly say my wife is my very best friend. We have been friends for over 50 years and married for almost 42 years.

One of sad things of life is that people even people you love come and people go. They die. They move away. Some remember you but to others you are it seems an afterthought. Their email bounces back. Their phone number is disconnected. When that happens all you can do it be thankful for the good times and offer up a prayer. You cannot know what they are or have experienced. Sadly, of course, most of the time the silence is due to inconvenience and indifference.

You have to work hard at keeping a friendship especially if one lives far away. People today are not moored to one place and neither are you so they drift in and out of your life. Nicholas Sparks wrote: {They are} “almost like characters in a favorite book. When you finally close the cover, the characters have told their story and you start up again with another book, complete with new characters and adventures. Then you find yourself focusing on the new ones, not the ones from the past.” That is certainly what we have to do though when one is old and retired it is more difficult to make new friends. One is lucky if one has the love of one’s children and grandchildren.

The secret of true friendship I think is gratitude and fidelity. We feel indebted to our friends because really we owe them nothing and what we share are memories of common travails, common laughter, companionship, odd stories and experiences.

I say to my friends THANKS FOR BEING THERE WHEN I NEEDED YOU. THANKS FOR EXISTING. THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES. Thanks for being that LEAL N’ TRUE MON (or LASSIE!).